Weirdest products you can buy from the world’s largest retailer, Amazon.com
15. A mullet for your dog- Mullets aren’t just for humans anymore. This item was inspired by the company Mullet on the Go. Now you and your dog can have matching mullets! The fur extensions are held together by a headband that’s super simple to slide on your doggy’s head. Whether you’re going to a Halloween party, playing dress up, or having a night out on the town; you and your furry companion can both look stylish!
14. Glow in the dark toilet paper- This is perfect for all the late night bathroom breaks. The glow in the dark toilet paper comes in handy and you’ll never miss when you’re wiping your butt, blowing your nose, or for when you go through a terrible breakup crying alone in the dark. For only $13.99, you can get a pack of six with free shipping, the two-ply toilet rolls is useful for blackouts or just wrap yourself in it for a unique mummy costume!
13.Uranium ore- Everyone needs their own radioactive minerals, how else are you going to conduct nuclear experiments to take over the world? Don’t worry, it’s not illegal, it complies with NRC and postal regulations, just be sure to handle with caution and care. Handle with gloves and don’t rub your eyes, mouth, or nose when in contact with the product, or you might end up with three eyes, green skin and sprouting antennas.
12. The bullshit button- You can call it like you see it, without having to say anything at all. Just press the red button and it’ll do all the talking for you, for only $ 7. You can press it for anything! For when your wife makes you do chores, when the in-laws visit, even when your boss makes you do overtime. Press with caution, or you could get fired.
11. Live bugs- Whether you’re looking for worms, beetles, ladybugs, spiders or cockroaches, that’s right, even cockroaches, Amazon has it all. It is packaged and sealed tightly. Just be careful when opening so you don’t end up with a bug infestation! There are multiple quantities to fit your means, you can buy 5,000 beetles or 1,500 ladybugs! Amazon has guaranteed that they will arrive alive, so just make sure you’re home so they’re not left out to die.
10. Wolf urine- Urine luck! Wolf pee is a great way to control pests and to mark your territory to keep away moose, bear, elk, beavers, door to door salesman, your ex and other animals, just watch out for other wolves that you might accidently attract. For $27, you can use the predator pee when hiking or camping, just spray the urine around your campsite and watch it work instantly!
9. Who doesn’t want a yodeling pickle?! It’s great for hours of useless entertainment, spontaneously press the yodeling pickle anytime and anywhere for nonstop laughs. It’s way better than that singing bass fish and it’s small enough to fit in your pocket. Show it off at family reunions, and you’ll be sure to be the center of attention. For only $11.99 you can get a yodeling pickle for yourself or for your best friend!
8. Crazy cat lady action figure- Do you know a crazy cat lady? Or are you the crazy lazy lady?! The crazy cat lady action figure brings out the joy of crazy cat ladies every where! For $13.99, the set is complete with six cats, a scratching post and of course the crazy lady dressed in her bathrobe. It makes a great gift for any woman who’s middle-aged, gone through a divorce, and has basically lost everything in her life!
7. The gift of nothing- So, what do you get for the person who has everything? Well for $9.00, you can give them the beautiful gift of nothing. The gift of nothing is the ultimate gift because it is unlike any other, it’s neither something or anything, but nothing. Everyone always has a complaint of a gift that they want, but give them the gift that they actually need….which is nothing!
6. UFO detector- Now you can hunt for aliens with the UFO detector! Whether you believe in aliens or not, I’m sure it could come in handy for some other use. It’s built with an internal magnetometer to sense electromagnetic disturbances. The blue LED light flashes when it detects any activity in the nearby area, it’s easy to use and for $87.99 you can really find out what kind of extraterrestrials are really out there.
5. Heinz spotted dick sponge mix- Ah yes, this UK dish is selling on Amazon! The delectable dessert is a moist sponge cake, seasoned with ginger, nutmeg or cinnamon and topped off with a thick and gooey custard sauce. Definitely sounds delicious but not the best name to hear in America. For $25.53, you can purchase it online, but it doesn’t ship internationally, so sadly us Americans will never be able to try it.
4. Killing Hitler with Praise and Fire: Choose your own horrible history- Eliminate one of the world’s most hated man in this interactive adventure gamebook! Humourous and entertaining, it isn’t your typical children’s book. For $14.99 the reader can decide how they want to kill Hitler by traveling through thirteen different time periods and creating over 50 different endings.
3. The badonkadonk land cruiser- Yes, this really is selling on Amazon. For the whopping price of $20,000 this medieval looking tank, holds up to five people, is covered in hard plated steel and can travel up to a speed of forty miles per hour! What in the world can you use it for?! You can trade it in for your old car, crusading into a war battle, protect yourself from flesh eating zombies, or you can it use it to pick up chicks. It’s incorporated with a headlight, taillight, and turn signals to let others know where you’re going of course; a standing hatch, a camera, and a PA loud speaker system! I mean, who wouldn’t want this?!
2. Unicorn meat- These magical creatures have gone into hiding since they’re being hunted for their horns and meat, which explains why you never see them. Unicorn meat is handled with extreme caution and care. After a unicorn passes away, their meat is processed and packaged and is naturally flavored with rainbow sprinkles, cinnamon, gumdrops, cotton candy and a hint of vanilla. Mmmm yes, this is what dreams are made of. Much like dragon meat, the unicorn meat is packed into a can and is dyed a reddish brown color to resemble beef, since unicorn meat in actuality is flaming hot pink. For $28.99, you can purchase this product for all your unicorn cravings.
Infant circumcision trainer- Practice circumcision training on this product before you do the real thing! Improve on learning how to cut the foreskin from its attachment glans and demonstrate aftercare with this interesting product. Patent and made in the United States, it cost $191.00 and includes a five year warranty in case for whatever reason, for when it stops working…or you just don’t want it anymore. It’s available in two colors, white and medium to suit your preference and is made to be realistic to the touch to enhance your skills!